Preventing Domestic Violence

  • Published
  • By Alisa A. Norlin
  • Outreach Manager Family Advocacy Program
MCCONNELL AIR FORCE BASE, Kan. --  Article 2 in the series. 

The Family Advocacy Program is promoting recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Family violence is a nasty hidden secret. Often the victim suffers silently and in isolation. It is an overwhelming situation for those involved, a situation where the individual often feels trapped and hopeless. Often the victim wants to leave but is unsure how to go about this, often not knowing where to begin. The most important issue, above all issues is safety. It is paramount to have a safety plan in place. In Wichita, the Family Advocacy Program, Wichita Area Sexual Assault, Harbor House and the YWCA Shelter are all resources for assistance with safety planning. However, some things to consider in a safety plan are:  

If you are still in the relationship:
  • Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
  • Think about and make a list of safe people to contact. 
  • Keep change with you at all times.
  • Memorize all important numbers.
  • Establish a "code word" or "sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.
  • Think about what you will say to your partner if he\she becomes violent.
    Remember, you have the right to live without fear and violence.
If you have left the relationship:
  • Change your phone number.
  • Screen calls. 
  • Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer. 
  • Change locks, if the batterer has a key. 
  • Avoid staying alone. 
  • Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner. 
  • If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place. 
  • Vary your routine. 
  • Notify school and work contacts. 
  • Call a shelter for battered women.
If you leave an abusive relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action.

Important papers you should take include social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner's names, your checkbook, your charge cards, bank statements and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2's), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)