Family Advocacy recognizes Domestic Violence

  • Published
  • By Alisa A. Norlin
  • Outreach Manager Family Advocacy Program
MCCONNELL AIR FORCE BASE, Kan. --  The Family Advocacy Program is promoting recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Family violence unfortunately impacts far too many families. According to the National Violence Against Women survey, one in four women will be assaulted at some point in their lifetime. Likewise, the same study reports that 8 percent of all men will be victims of domestic assault. These numbers are staggering and for those caught up in the violence there is often little hope for a different life.

Abuse is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. Battering is a behavior that physically harms, arouses fear, prevents a partner from doing what they wish or forces them to behave in ways they do not want. Battering includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation.

Unfortunately, statistics show most people are likely to know someone who has been abused in some way. The following are things people can do to help:

Let them know there is concern for their safety. People should advise the victim of what is going on and make them aware of the willingness to help. People can help them recognize that what is happening is not "normal" and that they deserve a healthy, non-violent relationship.

Acknowledge their feelings. Abusive situations are very difficult and scary. People should let the victim know that the abuse is not their fault and reassure them that they are not alone. There is help and support available.

Be supportive. People should be available to listen and help. It may be difficult for him/her to talk about the abuse. What they need most is someone who will believe and listen.

Be non-judgmental. Respect their decisions. Do not be critical. There are many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. They may leave and return to the relationship many times (some estimates are as high at 15 times before leaving for good). He or she will need support even more during those times.

Encourage them to participate in activities outside of the relationship with friends and family.

If he or she ends the relationship, continue to be supportive. It can be a sad and lonely time. They may need time to mourn the loss of the relationship and will especially need your support at that time.

Help him or her to develop a safety plan. People can advise the victim to have a bag packed and ready for an emergency, to carry a cell phone to call for help if needed, and to have a list of places they could stay.

Encourage them to talk to people who can provide help and guidance. Find a local domestic violence agency that provides counseling or support groups. Offer to go with them to talk to family, friends, the police, court, or a lawyer.

Remember that you cannot "rescue" him or her.

For more information about domestic violence, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit http://www.ndvh.org/ and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, a 24-hour national web-based and telephone helpline created to help teens (ages 13-18) experiencing dating abuse.